Dream wont come true

At Barroom yesterday. i drunk.
i saw many friends there. long time no see.
drunk~ i sat at Barroom parking there. my friends is take care me.
i few time want to fall down. cant steady myself.
Thomas ask me why drink so much. ask where is my boyfriend.
he means is 'him' . said go Sg find him.
you know this sentence is like a knife stick in my heart.
didnt cry become cryed,how many times i cryed for him again?
if i can go Sg . i must going find him. but he already got girlfriend.

.Today wake up early, went hospital visit my grandpa again.
4something, i went my cousin to online with laptop.
8something, i ate with cousin at outside.
i gotta back home. after shower , i lie down on the bed.
gradually,i fall to sleep.

next day. Monday.
Exam day again. im moody again. i missing him so much.
i hope he wont appear on my mind. but cant do it.
before start the exam. ''she'' tell me. many happen about saturday.
those events, i just only can said UNBELIEVABLE.make me so shock.
and. she advise i give up him better, i wanna ask reason, but exam is start.
this question appear in my mind so long time. i rather go suicide. i cant concentrate on exam.
finally, finished. i ask her many times.
eventually. she tell me. he already got girlfriend.
when i hear this. my brain is stop to thinking everything. is blank.
only drop the tears. i really want give up? hurt so much!
give up a person not easily . you know? need a lot of time. need waste many energy.
i can quit clubbing for him. i really love him.
but i think i just can hide the feelings in my heart deeply.
is time to give up all. is a nightmare, please dont let me dream about him again.
dont give me a expectation. will not dream come true.
dream and the facts the difference. so cruel. hopeless.
sigh... how can cheer up?