New Life .

Sunday at the night now, i think when i finish update the blog i gonna sleep .
recently,my sleep time become normal. but for me is abnormal. xD
9-10 already can fall asleep. i hope i can keep this situation everyday.
hmm.. feel like alot of things wanna write down at here.
what should i start now?
hmm. i feel the world are changed, i cant recognize this world and my life.
this is my sucks life, it is can prove how am i failure.
should i because a guy and give up all my things?
or should i give up a guy and improve my life?
actually , i am not that strong , i always is a loser on love game.
single life really suitable for me? i should not fall in love to person?
i folded five hundred and twenty love .i feel myself is a stupid.
why will folded those thing? this is first time and last time .
i wont do it like this. this is a stupid guys will did it.
once already enough. no twice.
this is waste my sincerity. that is not worthy. right?
whatever, this is the fact. i will accept it.
hard to fall in love with other boys. not dare, and dont feel wanna challenge myself.
i wanna rock my life. i wanna be a strong girl.
how difficult things i can use my smile to solve this.
hahahahahhaa. very absurd . right?
i just comfort myself. at least i know how to make myself cheer up.
Last night,Barroom rock my night.
how long i didnt go club. i love my guys, this is freaking enjoyment.
make me almost forgetten own.
please my god, give a some enjoyment like last night.
alcohol and music accompany me.
thanks Munchun and Kelvin this both brother take care me.
last night is a good good night. xD
awchh.. feel drunk . at the car talk alot of nonsense. xD
back home and clean makeup, after that fall asleep like a piggy.
something make me shocked. when i sleep, dream about him.
ehem..dont misunderstand. he is Mr. abc'X'e.
is a nightmare for me. LOL. never mind. i should forget it.
waked up at 11something, feel hungry, last night drink a lot alcohol.
ate my lunch with my mum and bro, afterward back home.
actually, i am tired today. but i want my sleep time is normal.
endure the sleepy and yawn, finish update blog and go to bed.
erm... what should i say at last? I AM SLEEPY.
hahahahahaha. night guys. wish myself have sweet sweet dream :D

Valentine Day

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valentine eve .

Tomorrow.
Is valentine day.
i think, have a lot of pairs couple will celebrate and enjoy on tomorrow.
boys and girls are prepare the present send to theirs lover.
some people will make the romantic to impress their lover.
and tomorrow the most suitable person to confession to someone.
romantic like cant imagine, how sweet they are.
send flower? card? chocolate? jewelery? rings? clothes? cook?
or have some special surprise?
honestly to say, i really envy the couples have their own lover.
i still remember last year.
since from 16 years, i first time with a boy celebrate the valentine day .
But. This Year! i will during valentine alone.
Stay at home whole night. LOL. is WHOLE NIGHT.
Valentine , can you disappear on tomorrow?
Skip tomorrow. that is not a happy day for me.
i dont want tears accompany me whole night.
i think no need wait for tomorrow, tears are accompany me right now.
Actually, how about him tomorrow?
who accompany him to spend valentine day?
his brothers? sisters? or a girl ?
where he will going tomorrow?
club? candle dinner? her house? or his house?
hmmm... i dont know what i worrying for?
i have no right to worry about him :/
i should pretend to dont care, i wont care.
cannot to care anymore.
he wont lonely on tomorrow. alot of dating.right?
sigh, my friends, please accomapany me tomorrow.
really dont want alone , i hate alone.
valentine day , is lonely single day for me.
im tired.
tired to waiting a person,
tired to missing a person.
tired to loving a person.
tired to crying for a person.
is that my tears is worth?

Giving up......

Sick Situation .

Yerterday,
Finally , i fever whole day.
sigh, alone stay at home, where are medicine gone?
vomit, cough, sore throat, fever.
they are come to visited me.
the Chinese New Year coming soon, i am sick..haih.
Spend the CNY with my weak body, without healthy.
i think i need dieting now.less to eat fried food.
Drink alot water. i hate my throat. keep cough.
Anybody take care me?
But i know. start from now,i need learn to how take good care myself.
they say i become thin already. reason?
hm... in this week ,lack of appetite,lack of sleep.lack of drink.
is that the source of illness?
Should i adjust my life?.
Bad mood everyday , how i cheep up ?
My face become haggard already. sigh... freaking ugly :(

hmmm... anyone are worthy of my trust now?
i think just only my Mother can be trust now.
whoever my relative,my friends , i lack of confidence on them.
Sorry , i know .believe a person is not so easily.
everythings i just can talk to Her( my mother).
when i feel collapse.Only her support me .told me many knowledge.
She said in this year. better dont ''pak tor'' with boys.
may be after i heared.i will promise..
hmmm.. Sick now. if i continue to write .
later i might going hospital :)
Good Night.

simple me.

At the first, i can tell all the people, im Okay. i know how to be stronger.
falling in love is a normal and simple thing.
have a chance, but also have the opportunity to separate .

Tuesday afternoon until now Wednesday evening,
i didnt sleep whole day, when i close my eyes, the memories like slide show appear in my mind.
awchhh. how suffer is it. this is the reason i cant asleep.
At the school, my expression cant seem like too sad.
i need cheer up by myself. when i in front Celim ,i giving up to pretend.
because she understand my feelings, she tried.
she want i give up all the expectation of him.
Dont worry ,i will give up hope. although i still missing him.
Try my best. i always tell the friends of my side.imma Strong :)
How difficult matter,i also can survive. everyday cheer up .

before the recess,i am crying while telling her our conversation.
She is the second one told me want i give up again.
conclusion is i should give up everything's about him.
This is the best medicine to cure myself .GiveUp.
I will be gradually reduced to expectation of him.
One Word. TIMING! i need time.
I have alot of confidence give up everything's of him :)
after that, i have my new life.single life.
sincerely ,really thanks my friends and my mother , they keep comfort me always.
and today tuition, He said Hi to me. LOL. i avoid him !
too late of my response.i might already scared of him.
Finish the tuition, i also said Hi to him :)
while me and Kong are waiting my mother fetch.
we are going Mcd waiting, i saw him again.
we look at each other=.= i make a weird expression let him see. xD
He make same expression to me.LMAO.
finally ,my mother came. get in the car.
Me ,kong and my mother chat in the car. and radio play the songs of i loving.
Grenade,Solo,My life would sucks with you,Apologize.
reached home.
I online facebook. did something(secret)
and write a status of my feelings.
afterward i went to bath and eat my dinner plus lunch.
I really freaking tired today, almost 7pm i fall to sleep.zzZZZ.
waked up at almost 10,online and write my blog now.
although, today also not a happy day for me, i try control myself dont view his things anymore.
LOKECHIJHIN is giving up.
good luck to me :)pray to myself:)

Give me a sweet dream tonight without him.:D